On Communication and Conflict Styles:
- For a breezy but impactful look at Conflict Styles/Modes, The Imperfects (podcast): Learning (and Unlearning) How To Communicate with podcast hosts Hugh Van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton, and Josh Van Cuylenburg and guest Dr Emily Musgrove is a great place to start. The Imperfects is a longstanding, award willing Australian podcast with a focus on mental health and honest acknowledgement of our collective imperfection as humans. The tone of this episode is thoughtful, warm, and even funny. As a psychologist, Dr. Emily (as she’s known on the show) shares research based insights with a keen awareness of how our unique pasts have shaped our current perspectives AND gentle guidance to give ourselves persmission to shift when those old patterns are no longer serving us.
- For more (direct from the source) info on Conflict Modes, check out Ralph Kilman’s content on LinkedIn. Ralph is a prolific poster and his archives are rich with thoughtful observations and guidance.
- If you’re an anxious or reluctant leader who finds yourself feeling deeply uncomfortable when called upon to be more assertive or direct, again, check out The Imperfects podcast: Ben Crowe- Play School (skip to 1:01- “how to be an anxious leader”). Again, podcast hosts Hugh Van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton, and Josh Van Cuylenburg with guest Ben Crowe delve decisively into the messy nature of being human with compassion and clarity.
On Saying No and Preserving Relationships:
- While most famous for the “Conflict Bible” Getting to Yes (linked below), The Power of a Positive No by William Ury is equally important reading for times when we need to deliver a firm no. With clear examples and visuals to make the content memorable, this book can help embolden even the most accommodating individual for times when asserting themselves is both necessary and right.
- Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab is another strong manual (rich with compelling examples) to help empower and embolden the people pleasers in all of us.
On Managing Difficult Conversations and Situations:
- With good reason, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton is still viewed as the “Conflict Bible” for many. Rooted in negotiation practices and drawing heavily on business centered negotiation examples, this book is still rich with guidance that are still relevant and impactful, even decades after its publication.
- Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen gives step by step guidance to navigate confrontation.
- Staying with Conflict by Bernard Mayer
On Guiding Groups to Do Their Best Thinking Together
- Facilitator’s Guide to Participatory Decision-Making by Sam Kaner
- FacilitationXYZ– Website with high quality free resources to promote good facilitation.
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